Dear Friend,
I love home and garden remodeling shows. In 60 minutes, a kitchen is glittering new and I haven't broken a sweat.
Sometimes I feel like I personally should wear a sign: "(Still!) Under Construction."
The other day, I walked into the kitchen and found someone had spilled juice on the floor. Feeling rushed to get started on dinner, I decided to graciously let the guilty party off the hook and clean it up myself. My oldest (not the guilty party) peeked around the corner and called out, "Mom, can you grab me a glass of water?"
I was quick to snap back, "I'd be happy to--right after I clean up this juice someone spilled.”
This comment probably had a little too much snark in it, because immediately she said, “Mom, didn’t I overhear you praying just yesterday, asking God to forgive you for complaining? Uh… here you are complaining.”
I went on to argue with her that my words were not complaining. I excused my behavior, telling her I’d said exactly what I meant: that I’d be happy to get her water right after I cleaned up the juice.
Shrugging her shoulders, she gave up and walked away.
Of course, she was right. I had complained. I knew it, and she knew it. Then I tried to cover it up with pleas of innocence. The repentant soul of yesterday (me!) had turned into the complaining liar (also me!) of today. Eek.
Yep, definitely still under construction.
Something here wasn't lining up.
I mean, I can think I am doing what is good and right (cleaning up juice), and still be wrong (complaining about it).
"A person may think their own ways are right, but the Lord weighs the heart." Proverbs 21:2
What’s going on here? If I say I believe in Jesus, how can I also be so negative and grumpy and complain-y?
Lately, I’ve been asking myself: How are things lining up? Do my words and actions match up with who God is calling me to be? What kind of life am I constructing here?
In the old times, they built structures with a Cornerstone. To make the building structurally sound, you’d want to build your foundation out of rock.
And the first rock you lay is the most important: the Cornerstone. It has to be solid. It has to have good right angles. It has to be placed in exactly the right spot. Why? Because every other stone you lay has to be lined up with the Cornerstone.
You use the Cornerstone to make sure the rest of your foundation is straight. You build walls based on the alignment of the Cornerstone. If even one of the other stones fails to align with the Cornerstone, the building is unstable. The building could ultimately be in danger of collapse.
The Bible names the Cornerstone as Jesus of Nazareth:
"Consequently, you are no longer foreigners and strangers, but fellow citizens with God’s people and also members of his household, built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, with Christ Jesus himself as the chief cornerstone. In him the whole building is joined together and rises to become a holy temple in the Lord. And in him you too are being built together to become a dwelling in which God lives by his Spirit." Ephesians 2:19-22
But interestingly enough, most scripture references relate to people rejecting the Cornerstone:
“The stone the builders rejected has become the cornerstone.” Psalm 118:22
“Jesus is ‘the stone you builders rejected, which has become the cornerstone.’” Acts 4:11
In other words, Jesus the Cornerstone was “rejected by many” in his lifetime. He was so rejected, in fact, that he was crucified, though he was innocent.
Jesus remains rejected by many even today.
Maybe you’ve never taken Jesus’ invitation seriously. That invitation remains the same today:
"Jesus says, 'Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me.'" Revelation 3:20
But for those of us who have already invited Jesus to be our Cornerstone, the question now becomes:
How well is my life aligning with who Jesus is calling me to be?
My choices, actions, thoughts, words – all of me. My character.
I’ve had a front row seat watching the Holy Spirit work out this process in my friends.
After my girlfriend from Korea decided to follow Jesus, she began to grapple with a question: Could she be a disciple of Jesus and continue to join her family in worshipping her ancestors? Did that choice line up with the Cornerstone?
Or take another friend from the Middle East. One day she suddenly apologized to me years after becoming a follower of Jesus: "I didn't realize it at the time because I was just chanting rote prayers that we'd been taught in my former religion, but I used to curse you Jesus people and other 'infidels' five times a day, every day of my life. I want to know if you will forgive me?"
"Of course," I reassured her. She had come to realize that her former life of routinely cursing others didn't square with her new life of turn-the-other-cheek-radical-forgiveness following Jesus.
For us in the West, we may not be struggling with ancestor worship or habitually cursing others five times a day (ah-hem, not even on Twitter, right?). But there may be other areas where God is asking us to better align with the Cornerstone...
Jealousy over the glamorous lives we see on tiny screens
Loosing patience with all the "idiots" who waste "my" time or disagree with me politically or socially
Buying more than I need while neglecting to care for the poor, the immigrant, the orphan, or the widow
Grumbling and complaining
What else in my life, Holy Spirit, does not line up well with all that Jesus taught?
Yes, some people throughout history have "rejected the chief cornerstone."
But we, who claim to follow Jesus, are WE really following his commands?
Do we submit to his will, even when we don’t understand it?
Let’s invite him to show us the places where our lives don't line up
Let’s truly build our house on the rock by hearing and doing what he asks of us (James 1:22-25, James 2:22, Matthew 7:24-29)
This construction process is not always easy. It might hurt. Our pride, that is.
But wow, what’s the result of a life lined up with the Cornerstone? I’ve seen a few lives like this: people fully submitted to God, who know they can trust him completely. They have joy that doesn't make sense. They have peace. They are generous. And humble. And patient. And loving.
Because they’ve spent a lifetime letting God align every part of them with the Cornerstone.
This construction project is ultimately for our own good... He guides us so we can have a full, abundant life enjoying fellowship with him and being a blessing in our broken world. Sign me up. Align me up.
Love,
Your Friend Melana
Ponder. Pray. Practice.
It can be hard to know where to start. I recommend the Sermon on the Mount. Pick a little part of Matthew 5-7, and talk to God about it. Spend some time reflecting on how you can “put into practice” what you have learned. Jesus promised you’ll be blessed: “Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock.” Matthew 7:24
Judges 17:6 says, “In those days Israel had no king; everyone did as they saw fit.” Take a walk or spend some time journaling as you chew on these questions: Who is the “king” in your life? Have you set yourself up as the ruler? Or are you willing to submit to the real King, God himself? Are you “doing as you see fit” or are you seeking the path that would please God? What might be holding you back from aligning a certain brick with the Cornerstone? What steps will you take to line up this area of your life?
Sometimes aligning a part of ourselves with the Cornerstone means we have to dig into what’s really going on with us. For example, for me complaining is a pretty old habit, around since childhood. It’s going to take more than just me “making an effort.” I need to reflect on WHY I complain. There may be situations where there’s something deeper going on. When I came into the kitchen and saw the juice on the floor, I made a choice to clean it up myself just to get the job done quickly. As I reflect on it, I noticed this was really a boundary issue. Instead of cleaning up someone else’s mess, a more mature person would neutrally ask the juice spiller to clean it up themselves. Instead, I removed the consequence of some else’s actions from them and put them on myself. And then I complained about it. I complained about MY CHOICE to receive the results of someone else’s actions. If I would simply have the juice spiller clean up their own juice (facing the natural consequences of their behavior), I would a) be putting the boundary where it belongs, b) be modeling personal responsibility, and c) have zero reason to complain. As I reflect on other instances of my complaining, it sometimes comes from a place of hunger or exhaustion or lack of self-control. So when I’m not taking care of my body, I’m also setting myself up to fail. It may take a while to figure out what’s really going on, but if the Holy Spirit prompts me to follow the command “do everything without grumbling or arguing” (Philippians 2:14), he may be taking me on a journey to help me understand why I do that in the first place. Aligning ourselves with the Cornerstone may take this type of deeper reflection, but I can guarantee that doing the work will ultimately lead to more joy. Ask God, and journal what you hear: Why am I struggling to align this part of me with what you’re calling me to do?