Dear Friend,
I see you. The curtains drawn. It’s dark inside your house. And inside your heart.
You’ve been going through the motions because people depend on you. Every ounce of energy you have goes into just making it through. If you stopped long enough, your thoughts would crush you.
The tears are near the surface. In fact, sometimes in the bathroom, you let them fall, making sure your sobs aren’t heard by your loved ones.
But you long for more.
That’s good!
Girl, call me. Call God. Eat good food. Sleep. Take a small walk. Stretch your arms up (literally) to heaven and ask for help.
“I’ve tried it before,” you say.
“Try it now,” I say.
Put on your favorite pop song. Here’s the perfect song for today: “Shining Star” by Earth Wind and Fire.
Let’s do it together. I’m dancing with you:
Hey! Stop laughing at me!
Or you could go with the traditional pick-me-up. Yes, funny dog and cat videos.
Friend, I get it. You don’t want to, so you won’t. I sometimes have to force myself to do things I know are good for me even if I don’t want to.
The other day, my sadness was smothering me. So I made a goal to try to be thankful all day. I failed.
But in the first hour in which I was still trying, my emotion overwhelmed me and I heaved with tears. Remembering my goal, I told God, “Thank you,” through my tears. It felt really weird because what I wanted to tell Him was “I’m sad.” I normally go to God and tell him the things I’m sad about and seek comfort (which He is famous for giving). But on this day, I simply said, “Thank you.” Thank you for the sadness? Not really. Thank you for these situations that break my heart? Not really. Thank you because He’s God and I’m not? Yes. Thank you because He sees my hurt and is listening right now? Yes. Thank you because I believe God will continue to work all things out for my good and His glory? Yes.
So, friend, I’m not sure what you need today, whether it’s gratitude or to phone a friend or to shake your groove thing. But let me encourage you to look at your options and take a small step. Maybe it’s to dance around in your slippers. Maybe it’s just to open the curtains.
You’re so smart to be looking around for hope. You already did that by reading my letter. What else will you do today?
Your friend,
Melana
